=D

1. What do you call an annoying vampire?
A pain in the neck!

2. What country did candy come from?
Sweeten!

3. Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
On their bunnymoon!

4. Have you heard the skunk joke?
You won't want to! It really stinks!

5. What do you get when you cross a rooster and a dog?
A cocka-poodle-doo!

:D

1. Why did the man freeze his money?
Cause he wanted cold, hard cash!

2. Why did the girl tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

3. What do you call 2 spiders who just got married?
Newlywebs.

4. What stays in the corner but travels around the world?
A stamp.

5. Why did the golfer wear 2 pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole-in-one.

=)

1. Did you hear about the dog who swallowed the stick? The owner disowned it because it was too noisy, because it was all BARK.

2. A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50."How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

3. Where do bees go to the toilet?

The BP station.